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Whiffy Tidings: Table For One
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Monday, 31 May 2010. This steak is a good shade past medium. It's tough! Tough as the boots on my feet. These potatoes are very nice, but why praise the upholstery and the sound system when the engine and gearbox are rusted? This wine is cold, he should have stood the bottle somewhere warmer. That's it. But when did we British begin to bitch and bellyache, at least raising our protestations to something more than a breathy murmur? When exactly did we start to believe we had earned the 'right to complain'?
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Whiffy Tidings: May 2010
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Monday, 31 May 2010. I met an egregious egret. He said 'There's nothing I regret. But the time I had sex. After eight pints of Beck's. With a hoopoe I met in Tibet.'. This steak is a good shade past medium. It's tough! Tough as the boots on my feet. These potatoes are very nice, but why praise the upholstery and the sound system when the engine and gearbox are rusted? This wine is cold, he should have stood the bottle somewhere warmer. That's it. I'm sorry Sir, I was attending to the other Gentleman....
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Whiffy Tidings: Armchair Killjoys
http://whiffytidings.blogspot.com/2010/06/armchair-killjoys.html
Wednesday, 16 June 2010. The constant wasp-drone of the Vuvuzela horn. Is greeted round Britain with sneers and with scorn. But you can't just march in and ban what you hate,. You're not the British army, it's not 1898. So instead stick to your chants and your out of tune singing. Ah, of course, I forgot you only sing when you're winning. When you do it's obscenities masquerading as "fun",. Cos who cares if Posh Spice takes it up the bum? 18 June 2010 at 07:48. 18 June 2010 at 07:49. No Rock 'n' Roll Fun.
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Whiffy Tidings: February 2010
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Friday, 26 February 2010. BBC6 - Common Sense Nil. From a Times article leaps deplorable rumours. BBC cuts - or just Auntie's bloomers? Pre-empting a Tory term, keen to please those. Who push those in power for the Beeb to close. 6 Music and Asian Network condemned? Instead do the opposite - increase the coverage. Keep spreading the vision of Peel and not Muggeridge. But I pay for Sky too" a dim nation bleats. Who wilfully subscribe to a glut of repeats. I can't afford both and I can't pick and choose".
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Whiffy Tidings: December 2009
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Saturday, 12 December 2009. Buying in the name of. Some of those who spread virals. Are the same who watch Cowell. Some of those who spread virals. Are the same who watch Cowell. Some of those who spread virals. Are the same who watch Cowell. Some of those who spread virals. Are the same who watch Cowell. And now you buy what they told ya. And now you buy what they told ya. And now you buy what they told ya. And now you buy what they told ya. Downloading the song, just out of spite. Buying in the name of.
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Whiffy Tidings: March 2010
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Thursday, 11 March 2010. Encourage Your Physiognomy (Revisited). You can't beat an egg. I've tried and it's impossible. It always cheats by nicking £500 notes from the bank when you're not looking. Tuesday, 9 March 2010. One Up Man Ship. I make it ingenious. U make it ingenuous. Sunday, 7 March 2010. The Question is "Why Do They Do It? Being about the relaunch of the classic Police Academy. When Orwell wrote of 1984. He didn't predict screwballs taking the fore. And the stories of bumbling, zany recruits.
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Whiffy Tidings: Fish in for Compliments
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Friday, 28 May 2010. Fish in for Compliments. The scent of fish is both persistent and foul; scrub your hands all you want there it stays. Spare a thought then for the common salmon in social situations. Spare another for the legions of customers queuing ten deep behind fish buying:. Then smile in the knowledge that these paranoid creatures have forgotten that female fish love natural fishy whiff. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom). Fish in for Compliments. The Dublin Meerkats Story. No Rock 'n' Roll Fun.
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Whiffy Tidings: November 2009
http://whiffytidings.blogspot.com/2009_11_01_archive.html
Monday, 16 November 2009. How to Kill a Mockingbird. It will shout back in bird vernacular. Memorising this call will allow you to tell when the mockingbird is speaking its native tongue. Friday, 13 November 2009. Johnny let out a little burp. Then a medium sized burp. Then a considerably larger burp. By 4pm the burp family were entirely at liberty once more. Now intone a burp of your own]. Tuesday, 10 November 2009. Sunday, 8 November 2009. Are not yet as impressive. I stood at the bus stop and awaited ...
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Whiffy Tidings: The Dublin Lemur's Story
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Monday, 24 May 2010. The Dublin Lemur's Story. A pint of the black stuff please! Squeaked a voice,. And left the poor bartender rattled. Now be quick if you will! Quoth the voice of a lemur embattled. It's yourself there Leonard, I'm sorry I missed. Your face as you walked in the door. Get yer erse on a stool and I'll pour you your drink. You look like you're sweeping the floor! You'll have to help out Mick, I've been in the wars. I think my leg's broke and I ache.'. A meerkat armed with a rake.'.
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Whiffy Tidings: 'Parallelism' : A Serial : Part Two
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Wednesday, 19 May 2010. Parallelism' : A Serial : Part Two. Scared of mirrors' laughed Marcus. 'That old quack is in no position to advise me of my state of mental well-being.'. He realised he was talking out loud to himself again and embarrassedly began to hum a nondescript tune as some sort of post hoc cover for his indiscretion. This too he stopped after a second. He was alone in his flat, who would have heard him? Did his neighbours hear him? Will you keep that fucking noise down? No Rock 'n' Roll Fun.
